How can you tell someone’s jealous of you?

New Post: How to handle it when someone is jealous of you

Last time, I talked about dealing with jealousy. Today I will tell you from observation and experience, how you can tell if someone is jealous of you. If you know the problem, you have a slightly better chance of fixing it, right?


In Real Life

These are signs you can pick up in real life if someone’s jealous of you.

Making fun of Achievements

Did you get a good grade, or achieve something huge, only to have people say how stupid it is. I’ve heard of this often: When a kid gets a good grade, sometimes he/she may be made fun of, like being called a geek. Think about it: If people weren’t green with envy, why would they want to put down someone for achieving something great? Don’t we all secretly want to do well?

Ignoring You

Do you always feel left out and ignored by this person? Someone who is jealous of you will go out of their way to ignore you, or say as little to you as possible (unless they’re saying something nasty) but from experience, people who are jealous don’t tend to say as much to your face, than they do behind your back.

Being Excluded

Are they having a party, and they’ve invited almost everyone but you? That’s another sign that they’re jealous.

Are you friends with their friend?

Let’s call you A, and your friend B, and the person who’s jealous of you C. If A and C are both friends with B, but A know very little of C, then there’s a huge chance there will be some kind of jealousy stirring up between A and C.


I find that online, people are far more direct in insults, because they’re covered behind a computer screen and feel that they can say whatever they want.

Hating you for No Reason

Are you doing your thing, but someone just seem to hate you, no matter what you do? Perhaps they’re jealous of your success, and feel undignified that they don’t have the same thing going for them.


If they’re just trying to pick you apart, insult you for every little thing possible and you’ve literally done nothing to offend them (people who actively do mean things first doesn’t count), then perhaps they’re jealous. Some of the most obvious insults are about being ugly or fat.

If you feel that this person treats you differently and something isn’t right, then that’s probably true. People in real life generally don’t come to your face and insult you like they would on the internet, but that won’t stop them from being so jealous that they’d make you feel quite miserable.

Note: This is not an article about how to deal with these people. I will write that when I can figure out the right steps.

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Susanna is the founder of The Snow Fairy. She’s super gluttonous and seeks to eat delicious, yet mostly healthy foods all the time, she loves photography, creativity, beautiful and cute things and can either be crazy passionate or be bored easily. She loves writing for her website and helping people, as well as be inspired and share what she has learned with others.


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37 Comments on How can you tell someone’s jealous of you?

  1. Harry
    September 19, 2013 at 9:13 pm (4 years ago)

    I’ve run across this more often than I care to think about. The sad thing is, when people have low self esteem it is much more difficult for them to realize that someone else is jealous of them for the obvious reason that they often don’t feel so great about themselves, so it’s difficult for them to even contemplate that someone else would or could be jealous of them. I’ve experienced the craziest remarks from people, one man once yelling at me asking if I ever took a bath. What was that about? On the surface, it had to do with a pimple that I had.
    You know how a person can feel self conscious about a pimple? He zoomed right in on it. But the issue wasn’t really about the small pimple on my body; it had a whole lot more to do with the fact that the guy had a big beer belly and a flabby body, and I was lean and muscular. You would think that the overweight guy would not make a remark about me, given his own physical state, but that was the PRECISE reason behind his negative comment. That is how jealousy catches people off guard. The other person has a personal issue which you have never considered, because you feel secure in yourself. But that same individual is scanning you for some vulnerability in order to justify a verbal insult. They are engaging in truly devilish behavior.

    • Susanna
      September 19, 2013 at 9:17 pm (4 years ago)

      Yes I absolutely agree there, sometimes it’s so hard to realise that someone picking on your pimple is really them jealous about your body. I think many people don’t know how to really confront their jealousy so they look for other reasons to make the person feel bad. Thank you REALLY much for your input there!!!

    • Ed
      June 22, 2014 at 1:36 am (3 years ago)

      It’s also important not to make assumptions about other people’s motivations. You shouldn’t try to construct narratives for other people- you have no idea what’s going on with them.
      Maybe he wasn’t jealous of you. Maybe he really hates pimples. Maybe he thought he was being funny. Maybe he’s just rude. While there’s no question that his remark was uncalled for, it’s presumptuous for you to put words in his mouth (or thoughts in his head), even if you might be correct.

    • raquel
      October 7, 2014 at 10:44 am (3 years ago)

      IThank you. I never looked at it from that point of view. Some pieces to certain situations are really coming together for me.

  2. ris123
    October 15, 2013 at 3:11 pm (4 years ago)


    These comments have really opened my eyes, always wondered why people would overly focus on my insecurities…. Thanks for sharing !

  3. Joe Dixon
    October 19, 2013 at 3:31 pm (4 years ago)

    uuhm , great steps !! , i realy understand now why they are so jealous from me
    – Thanks so much , its very nice to post dat

  4. Mary mc
    December 29, 2013 at 1:46 am (3 years ago)

    Thank you for writing this clearly thought out blog, Susanna.

    Between feelings of others’ jealousy and screaming that they hate me in front of the entire work group, I’ve been targeted as the scapegoat by people who are unaware of their super obvious anti social behavior.
    Now that I’ve been reading and learning about these dysfunctional people, I feel more able to properly respond to their immature attacks at me. It’s true I need to mingle with a better class of people, but now when I do see them I fully know what their pointless games are about.

    It’s sad they waste their precious life in such negative feelings but I’m glad for the upsetting experiences because I became motivated to learn and grow even while being disrespected by childish losers.

    Learning is important however it occurs and I’m glad for the learning experience. I hope I can use my experience to help others one day, as you have.
    Thank you! Maj

  5. solinmar
    January 16, 2014 at 5:23 pm (3 years ago)

    Im a senior in high school and have been with the same group of kids since 7th grade. I am and have always been quite mature for my age and have my own sense of style, I guess you could say I’m my own person. I originally moved from out west and the very moment I began school I began to hate it here in the south. I immediately began being scrutinized for the clothes I wore, my style (which four years later is “cool” and “cute) when I was wearing it, it was weird apparently and I was made fun of because of, my nose which has a bit of a hump on it. Rumors were spread about me about countless things, long story short most of the girls in my grade have isolated me and seems to me for the most part it would hurt them to even look my way. Also, ive noticed that when i have expressed myself or been chatty its almost as if it makes them uncomfortable follwed by the need to be louder than me and shut me out. But I catch them staring all the time, but they immediately look away. They mean mug me in the hall ways. I’m a pretty strong young woman as well as I have a pretty good sense of who I am and I know I’m not .I’m hispanic , not preppy, genuine and always get told how beautiful I am. But people in my grade from things ive heard said about me tend to see me as an atrocious monster. Anyways my high school career has been pretty traumatic and made me question a couple times if there’s anything wrong with me.I’ve realized there isn’t and becoming more accepting of myself. Thank god!

    • Mary mc
      January 16, 2014 at 7:57 pm (3 years ago)

      Wow, Solinmar, you have certainly got the extra layer of social education during your high school years!

      I admire your taking the uncomfortable experience as a tool for personal growth!

      You are an inspiration for me to “learn to let it go”!

      • raquel
        October 7, 2014 at 10:41 am (3 years ago)

        I can honestly say women will get together and talk about the new girl really bad. however, all you have to do is ignore them and go on about your business. I know that you have graduated by now, but as a young adult and going forward in life, If you act like you don’t need their approval as well as STOPPING them in their tracks when you sense they are and when they THINK they are putting you down in front of others, will shut them up and they will back off. Be strong and stand up for yourself and you’ll be alright.

    • Sandy
      October 5, 2014 at 10:00 am (3 years ago)

      Wow i can relate to everything in this post I suffered from low self esteem so I don’t even consider ppl being jealous or envious of me but my peers from 6th grade to highschool would taunt me tease me call me all kinds of things and then stare me down in the hallway and copy my style while complete strangers walking down the street would be so nice to me and always compliment my beauty. Fast forward now all those people are trying to be my best friend go figure!!

  6. Annie
    February 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm (3 years ago)

    Thank you for your column. It has brought a lot of insight in the work place. There is one gal who loves to ignore me, especially when we’re around other co-workers. She loves to be the “center of attention” and tells jokes all the time while leaving me out of the conversations. She never gives me eye contact, hardly ever says anything to me, has put me down in front of others then says “only kidding” when confronted. She has managed to turn others against me. I made the mistake of pointing out my weaknesses all to discover that she uses them against me. I have been nice to her, gotten her gifts, etc. and to no avail, she hates me even more. It has gotten so bad that I dread working around her. I’m amazed how people can get so jealous of another person that they feel like they have to go to this extreme just to make themselves feel better. I have tried everything and the situation keeps getting worse. I hate confrontations and prefer to just ignore it. My true friends have told me that it is not me…it’s her jealousy. I don’t understand why people love to hate. happens everyday naturally, why make it worse on someone just because of a childish thing called jealousy?

    • Amy
      July 29, 2014 at 9:14 am (3 years ago)

      My co worker has done the same to me. I have spent months trying to work out what I have done wrong. It has made me very depressed, especially as she has turned others against me. I originally thought very highly of her and tried everything to make things right between us. I can see reasons why she would be jealous of me, but because I thought so highly of her I didnt imagine she would be jealous. Thanks 4 your comment, it is clear to me now.

    • Lillian
      February 9, 2015 at 1:38 pm (2 years ago)

      My dear, i truely understand what u are going true bcos i am facing thesame challenge right now. But if someone is jealous of u bcos of ur good nature, then she need to deal with that for the rest of her life with u around bcos u don’t have to change for bad to impress her. Stop wasting ur time trying to make her like u. Be urself, do ur job, be good and respect urself, above all appreciate and admire urself. She may turn back to love u without ur knowing it. That how am dealing with mine. Its only u that can allow someone put u down. Be good and God bless.

  7. catherine
    February 9, 2014 at 5:21 am (3 years ago)

    This article tells me what I already suspected about the people who bullied me as a teenager. I was taunted about my weight & appearance by people who were repulsive to look at, & who had no business telling me that my looks weren`t up to scratch.

  8. Jessica
    March 9, 2014 at 2:14 pm (3 years ago)

    I hope I’m not just being paranoid but there are a few other signs I think I’ve picked up too! When someone is jealous of you they give you the worst advice. For example, they tell you to go for a really bad job, when they know you’re more than capable of getting something better. They try to keep you from finding genuine romance and happiness. They find anything to argue about in an effort to break up the relationship. They pick on you whether it be physically or verbally. They ignore you when your talking. This could come from friends and family.

  9. Toni
    April 3, 2014 at 1:59 am (3 years ago)

    My former ex-friends who I have known for years…have become very jealous of my education and my success…I guess I remind them of there failures…..also my aunt is jealous of me too,same reason she wasted her life now I the ex husband is in the running for the jealous creep of the year..and his current wife.

  10. easilyn
    April 12, 2014 at 12:36 am (3 years ago)

    I’ve met some truly great people, but there are always gonna be assholes messing with you.It’s your choice whether or not to do something about it.

  11. Ernie
    April 25, 2014 at 6:03 pm (3 years ago)

    Jealousy are shown in many ways and forms. I can still remember an Assistant Bldg. Mgr. and me as a tenant at a time when I was moving my belongings to move to another floor and there she is standing and watching me moving things. I thought she was there to help me in my moving but no instead she was just watching me , screaming and yelling at me saying ” hurry up, move on “. I was stunned by her unexpected behaviour because I have done no wrong or anything to offend or give her reason to treat me as such. I am an Asian and she is a Caucasian. I don’t think it’s racism but more of jealousy for something to do with the beautiful pictures of mine back home I have shown her prior to this incidence. It’s jealousy

  12. Me
    May 16, 2014 at 4:19 pm (3 years ago)

    Ok so I am in grade 6 school is a week from ending and there is this girl always telling me I’m a bad singer I’m and Because I am skinnier than her she calls me underweight!! She is always calling me a spoiled brat because I have a iphone and a ipad and a big house there is a difference between spoiled and a brat I already told her I know I’m blessed . She ignores me a lot and tries to boss me around! She is jealous and it’s so obvious! She is always angry with me for no reason and she uses me to go to places and but her stuff! It drives me NUTZ and she is always telling me that “her friends” said they HATE ME and when I upfronted them they never said that

  13. Me
    May 16, 2014 at 4:20 pm (3 years ago)

    A bad singer and I’m ugky*

  14. Me
    May 16, 2014 at 4:20 pm (3 years ago)

    And hate me

  15. catherine
    May 21, 2014 at 7:14 am (3 years ago)

    This all makes sense, because Iv`e found that it`s usually people give others a hard time. I don`t think that being insecure is an excuse for being mean to people who are nicer, or more attractive than them. they should do something about their repellant appearance before they critisise others.

  16. Lena
    June 3, 2014 at 8:20 am (3 years ago)

    I look very young for my age (48). Strangers talk to me as if I am /na├»ve/uneducated. Often, I receive short shrift once my age is revealed (not always by choice). I get patronised by older women on a regular basis and it is worse if they are the same age as I am. There is one woman in my workplace who never smiles to me when I smile to her. Another just plain ignores me. She goes out of her way to exclude me from group conversations in the tearoom and if I deign to join in, her wrath doesn’t show on the outside but I can FEEL it. I am used to the treatment and mostly I ignore it.

    I sound like a girl when I speak and I seem to have an unlimited vocabulary.

    I have been excluded from parties and gatherings because I am happily single. I guess the women feel threatened if I talk to their male (sometimes female) partners as I am a good conversationalist with an interest in myriad things. Have they not heard of intellectual jealousy? No, it is all about my freedom, my good looks and nice figure. I have a pretty home and garden. I am also very poor, have a severe mental illness and I collect welfare. If only they really knew me.

    After growing up from being a sickly child and an acne-riddled young adult, I dedicated some of my spare time to looking after my appearance and that will be a lifelong indulgence. I have no children either so I have lived a life of insouciance and interrupted sleep. OK, I am lucky. My mother hates my guts and hates anyone she likes who just happen to like me. I grew up with that and the ‘sickly kid’ thing was caused by Munchausen’s by Proxy. She never made any effort to help me with my acne and now I have scars. I will be getting them treated over the next few months. I want to be fabulous at 50.

    I am not another Samantha Brick but everyday I am grateful for my good looks and fortunes and talents. I have friends who like me and want to be like me, which is kind of sweet.

    My comments are not intended to ruffle any feathers and do not tell me that I am narcissistic. I already know that!

    • Christine
      August 2, 2014 at 10:13 am (3 years ago)

      Lena, thank you for sharing. Your experience with all those green-eyed monsters is very similar to what I am experiencing. I too am single and in my 40s, but look way younger than my age. I have a masters degree in computer science and still get to use my technical ability on the job. The men I work with have a lot of respect for me. So I guess that doubles the jealousy factor for all those older (divorced) women who envy my skillset, and are probably foaming at the mouth knowing that I’m a single, attractive, educated, and youthful woman who’s respected by men. Eat your heart out you old hens!

  17. Ed
    June 22, 2014 at 1:32 am (3 years ago)

    Some of these could be indicators that they just don’t like you. There are people whom I ignore not because I’m jealous, but because I find them rude and unpleasant.
    I think that if you get a sense that someone resents you, you should take stock of your own attitudes and behaviours to try to figure out if you may have actually done something to offend them (or consider the possibility that maybe you’re just an asshole), before jumping straight to “oh, they’re just jealous.”

    • Marian
      September 28, 2014 at 5:25 pm (3 years ago)

      I couldn’t have described it better. Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you are jealous. Take Ed’s advise and have a look at your attitudes and behaviours before you label someone as a jealous person.

  18. sara green
    September 3, 2014 at 12:23 am (3 years ago)

    this is all amazing, my gramma used to tell me alot of lifes foibles and nasty people build upon jealousies, in fact what we see as good people becoming friends may well be people who are a bit obsessed with some aspect of our life and they focus on the lack therein their own like unconditional love from parents or a great child hood funny how some people never have a clue… so beware things are not always as they seem my gramma based alot of negative people in their jealous states only now at age 70 do i see and appreciate this, she was so wise!!

  19. myles
    September 17, 2014 at 7:06 am (3 years ago)

    i always noticed that other guys go out of there way to tell me and try really hard to make out like im really and girls constantly tell me that im handsome or cute all the time i find that amusing

  20. raquel
    October 7, 2014 at 10:31 am (3 years ago)

    I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and I totally thought it was me. Now I understand that the person who I called a friend, did NOT consider me as their friend. The bad thing about it was I was delusional about our friendship and would just blow her nasty comments off. I was stuck thinking, why did she say this, or say that, or didn’t invite me to her house party, when we’re supposed to be friends. I kinda caught a clue, but then she would deviate in behavior so I shrugged it off as my own faulty thinking. For Example, I moved to a nice townhouse and when she saw it, she said oh your place is bigger than mine. 2 months later her lease was up and what did she do, she moved into a bigger place, which I KNEW she could barely pay for, but I was still happy for her. Then she would go out with these NEW FRIENDS and never invite me and when she finally did,, they were trashy women, not the kind I would want to be seen with. I had held her to a higher standard of choosing friends. So I never hung out with them, I just wanted it to be our friendship. I remember one time, I wanted this really nice cookware set from Macy’s and the next thing I know she bought them and says look at the cookware I bought. I was like WTF?. She knew nothing about them until I said something. Then she had a birthday party for her son and didnt invite my daughter (we were friends since they were babies and at that time he was turning 11). It just so happened my daughter had another friend that had a birthday party at the same place on the same day as her son, and I unexpectantly ran into her. I asked why didnt you call, she came up with an excuse and I shrugged that off and we picked back up where we left off. Years later on Facebook, she always made unnecessary comments about things I posted which were cynical in nature and I was still stuck thinking why would she say something like that? I just didnt get it. And to some degree I still don’t. I thought we were on the same level, but her competitiveness just got out of hand. I no longer talk to this person, but she is now friends with someone who I was close to and knew for a looong time, She told my longtime friend “that she was never friends with me” and I have since cut them both out of my life since my long time friend started treating me differently. I can’t think of anything that I could’ve done that would’ve made her be like that towards me. Help me understand what I can do to protect myself in the future when I meet people like this?

  21. PrincessDeah
    April 16, 2015 at 5:51 pm (2 years ago)

    I am not sure with mine, I never ever did anything wrong to everyone. But no matter what how much I express my talents and no matter how BIG my effort is to show my skills, no one ever sees it I worked hours and hours and I’m sure it’s awesome that one else can and trying to show those creative works. No one sows appreciation with my works no matter how awesome I made them look like. They ignore it. I always cry deep inside me, I tried to open up, but they won’t listen. I was NEVER mean, I am a person who is sweet and caring. At the other side of my life is that I mostly get compliments from strangers “You’re beautiful” then I always respond “Thank you for the kind compliment”. But those many people around me ignores me when I try to open up about my works being ignored, I open to them very nicely and I tell them how it makes me feel, but the more they ignore me. I feel very hurt and don’t know if I should continue working on the arts I am currently working on. Is their kind of ignoring attitude a sign of jealousy? just like it said on the list?

  22. Ryoko
    April 19, 2015 at 7:49 am (2 years ago)

    I have a twin sister who is 5 minutes older then me but always calls me , makes fun of me being nice to strangers. I just got my teeth done but she says it still looks terrible. And ,ages fun of me that I’m single and never amount to anything.

  23. Monika
    June 13, 2015 at 6:38 am (2 years ago)

    The people talk about me behind my back because I got the lead role in a play what I heard them say is she thinks she is the star of the show but I am I feel like the only place I can let this go is the ineternrt + there’s 3 of them that are talking about me and I got the role of Jasmine fair and square . and them I was getting copies and at the end of practice alayna and catelyn were talking and I walked in to the room and cateln said she’s right there shhhhhh and went out side and when I was singing in private with my directed and the person who was playing Aladdin and they were spying I just can’t believe it I could just……………..,………………………………………………………..SCREAM! I’m happy and sad at the same time

  24. Qasim
    July 10, 2015 at 7:36 am (2 years ago)

    Jealousy yes I have had enough of it.. I don’t even know where to start, a family member and a past mate. I’ve just recently passed a biomedical degree and there’s just so much to talk about

    This mate that I use to talk to and hanget around with basically proved a lot to me back in the past. Firstly it all started when I went abroad on a vacation to Morocco. I did ask him to come but he did say he was going to (even though he was broke) we argued over someone stirring between us and he mentioned the trip. Once we got talking after 2 weeks I didn’t mention the trip to him again and went to it the following 2 months later. Once I came back from the trip, he mentioned that he was going to turkey for which I was happy for him. He told me he was going to go with his uncle brother and his sister in law and then 20 minutes later his mate (the one that stirred said he was going with him. But this turkey trip never took place and I realised it was all jealousy and they tried to make me jealous too but it didn’t work. My mate never congratulated for my grad but argued with me the day before. All his brother congratulated me on the day but not him

    This family member of mine did congratulate me but had a face on due to the fact that I was first in the generation to graduate.. There are more to say about this person but I’m not gonna go further into it as it’s personal

  25. Fem
    August 21, 2015 at 11:32 am (2 years ago)

    The part about ignoring someone or not saying much to them is not a sure sign. I ignore and don’t say much to people because I don’t really notice them. I actually didn’t notice my brother in law’s jealous ass wife until she went our of her way to insult me, and do things to try to purposely piss me off. Other than that, I just looked at her like she’s a friggin nutball after that. How can I hate or be jealous of some crazy who hates me for no reason? Lol

  26. Lie
    October 4, 2015 at 9:02 pm (2 years ago)

    Hey, ive been wondering me and her has been a friend for almost 2 years,but she rarely compliment me. Even when we bought the same shoes suddenly at night she text me and wanted to exchange it,iam okay with that but all of my family members who knows it says that she probably exchange it because theres a little scars on that same shoes. When she does sleepover at my house i dont know why she always borrows my clothes and never herself return it? She says to me that iam not beautiful, she hates my pale skin and says that she prefers tan. Iam okay with that, i think tan women are beautiful too but sometimes later when i go into her house to pick her up, i saw a whitening pills on her desk. Honestly theres so much more about her that i cannot understand.. i want to believe that she is my true friend but somehow i always feel like she belittles me.. like i was her maid or something… help..

  27. Meh
    October 6, 2015 at 7:24 pm (2 years ago)

    Hate is almost always mistaken for jealousy. Jealousy usually entails an emotional response, the ques are very different from hate. Hate is less subtle and more direct and sometimes even more open about who it targets. You can’t win over someone who is jealous of you, it probably enrages them even further. It is actually better for your own health and benefit to stop seeing them at all, a persons life isn’t a thing or a competition. The best way to teach them this is to move on.

    I hate at least one person in my life and they are actually enough to interpret it as jealousy, even when most of their family agrees with me.


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